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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23308921">incendiary</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocrypha_luxe/pseuds/apocrypha_luxe'>apocrypha_luxe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>take a torch to my defences [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Pining, and having more sex in a forest, and neji is a man of action, because when you're onto a good thing, idiots falling in love, shikamaru overthinks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:13:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23308921</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocrypha_luxe/pseuds/apocrypha_luxe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Neji nodded as he reached to trail fingertips along Shikamaru's jaw, thumb brushing his bottom lip, expression heating as Shikamaru let out a slow breath. </p>
<p>'What do you say, Shikamaru? Do you want to see where this could go?'</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hyuuga Neji/Nara Shikamaru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>take a torch to my defences [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663261</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>incendiary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Part 2, in which Shikamaru struggles to work through his Feelings, and it’s Neji’s turn to make a move.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The freezing rain refused to stop during their return journey to the village, easing back only to kick up again, pummelling them brutally but failing to extinguish the lingering fire in Shikamaru's blood. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The debrief with Tsunade had been thankfully quick and relatively painless, just the bare bones with a guarantee that their reports would be lodged fast before she'd kicked their dripping asses out of her office. They'd made their way steadily along the deserted village streets walking in silence through the continuing deluge, the storm so set in that daylight seemed more like night, no witnesses to notice them lingering when their paths inevitably needed to part ways. Their gazes had locked tight, bodies swaying close, and it had taken every ounce of Shikamaru's willpower to tuck his twitching hands into his pockets instead of reaching out to drag Neji into a kiss. Every ounce of his willpower not to beg the Hyūga to come home with him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He'd smiled and shook his head as he exhaled hard, disbelief at the entire situation leaving him dizzy. He'd let his eyes wander to Neji's perfect mouth, follow the steady stream of rain coursing down his throat, pouring from the heavy curtain of his hair, watched as he'd swallowed slowly before lifting his gaze to meet the heavy look in those opal orbs. He barely remembered what he'd said next, something about dinner and a hot shower, and when Neji's eyes had tracked down his body and back again, huskily murmuring something about being hungry, Shikamaru had almost swallowed his own tongue. They'd held each other's gaze a little longer, the staticky tension sparking between them thick with promise and the thrill of possibility, the moment dragging out before they tore themselves away, turned in the direction of their respective homes with soft farewells on their lips and hesitation in their footsteps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even now, ten minutes deep into the borders of the Nara forest, Shikamaru could still feel the heat of Neji's gaze burning under his skin. He'd never been caught up in someone like this before, fire in his veins and thoughts spinning out in a thousand directions with one common origin. It felt like a match had been struck to overdry kindling, a wildfire threatening to overwhelm him if he didn't contain it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Omoikane help him, </span>
  </em>
  <span>his head was a mess. He'd slept with friends before, most of them had in some way at one time or another, and it had never been a big deal. It came with the nature of what they did, working close, adrenaline running high and constant reminders of their own mortality, but those encounters had always just been impulsive one-offs. Casual.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But last night felt nothing like that. A storm had thundered to life behind his ribs that put shame to the one that lit up the sky above them, and Shikamaru suspected it was just the beginning. A preview of what could be unleashed. That if they came together like that again he might lose himself to it entirely and with total, blissful abandon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He walked up the front stairs of his home, grateful, and not for the first time, that he lived alone. He dumped his gear and stripped out of his clothing, discarding the whole soaking mess on the veranda before unlocking the door and slipping inside. He lit an oil lamp and carried it with him as he made his way through to the bathroom, the glow spilling out around him and casting his bare body in golden silhouette. A glance down at his bandaged thigh made his other aches throb in reminder, battle injuries and more erotic twinges sparking off one another, his cock twitching. He felt like he'd been half-hard since last night, his body running on a loop of craving that no amount of distraction could totally draw his mind away from. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leant against the bathroom sink as he waited for the hot water to come through, the pounding of the shower spray almost drowning out the sound of the rain. His reflection stared back at him from the vanity mirror, exhaustion edged with heat etched deep into his face. His eyes drew down to the vivid purple mark on his shoulder, fingers reaching to press into it, the memory of Neji's mouth bruising him flaring bright as steam fogged over the glass. He groaned under the weight of wanting, burning desire fizzing in his blood, sitting heavy in his gut. Gods, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stepping under the hot spray he braced himself against the wall and took his cock in hand, flesh filling further, his fingers dragging in blessed friction. He let himself be overwhelmed by the ghost of the Hyūga's touch, his body still holding the sensations of Neji moving against him, inside him. Warm breath stuttering over his neck, whispering his name, desperate, hungry noises tumbling over kiss-swollen lips. Strong arms holding him close while hips thrust hard, deep, cock stretching him, filling him and </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh god, yeah. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He stroked himself roughly, no intention of making this last, let himself be swept along by the torrent of images cascading through his brain. He wished he'd brought Neji home tonight, longed to have him spread out in his bed, whispering sweet words as their bodies pressed tight, sweat-slick and aching, moving together, having each other again and again. His orgasm slammed into him, a shattered sob wrenched from his throat as he spilled over his fist, his body sinking to the floor as undeniable realisation crashed into him with stunning clarity. His chest felt tight. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His </span>
  <em>
    <span>heart</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He fumbled with the tap, cranking the hot water up higher before resting his elbows on his crooked knees and dropping his head into his hands. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nice one, genius, you aren't supposed to catch feelings from a one night stand. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Even as the brittle thought passed through his mind he knew he was being an idiot, trying to kid himself when self-delusion had never been his thing. This wasn't a one night stand, the concept felt sour here, there was no way it could ever be that meaningless between the two of them. Even in the midst of their pleasure last night he'd felt flashes of it in his gut, an unnamed </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>taking its first breath between them, tangling them together in ways beyond the physical. Part of him wanted to deny it the freedom it chased, ignore the urges towards tenderness that were sending him careening out of his depth and remain in the uncomplicated safety of the solitary life he'd built. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lonely life, </span>
  </em>
  <span>his head whispered, and yeah, there was a hell of a lot of truth stinging there too. It was that achingly lonely part of him, getting louder and more demanding by the minute, that wanted to encourage this. Fall headlong into whatever was growing and just let his heart slake its thirst. He pressed his fingers into his scalp, down to grasp at his nape, yanked his hair tie out and raked through his tangled mane. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fuck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So much for being a great tactician, he had no idea how to handle this or what he was meant to do next. Corner Neji and slip into conversation that he'd very much like to cook him dinner and stare longingly into his eyes before making love until the sun came up? The thought was so wildly unfamiliar that it jarred him, left him floundering, panic lancing into his gut with nauseous precision. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ugh, get a grip, Nara. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Whirlwind romances were a ridiculous notion, the plots of those stupid books Kakashi loved so much or fairytales told to kids, not something that people ever actually had. The fact that he was even entertaining the thought of it was completely insane. He should just stop all this now, find a way to be content with a friendship that eased his loneliness and was so good without being anything more anyway. Tuck away the warmth of their night together and give his heart some space to shed its ache, just go back to what they had. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But </span>
  <em>
    <span>gods, </span>
  </em>
  <span>the way Neji had looked at him, the soft way he'd said his name, all those long gazes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You already have me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Maybe. Fuck, maybe Neji had felt the burn of something more there too. Maybe Shikamaru wasn't alone in this. Maybe he didn't have to turn his back on it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe maybe maybe. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His brain felt like quicksand, overwhelming him every time he tried to pause and steady himself. He needed sleep. Actual food. Probably medical attention if the throbbing of his wounded thigh was anything to go by. He pulled the bandage from his leg and reached for the bottles of product in the corner of the shower, washed his hair, his body, almost drifted to sleep leaning against the wall as he worked soap and hot water into sore muscles. The last of his energy was spent turning off the taps and hauling his ass up off the tiles before he just passed out where he sat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dried off as he stumbled down the hall and into the kitchen, wrapping the towel around his hips and pulling the fridge open. One of the upsides of short missions was coming home to everything in the fridge still being edible, and he had a moment of giving thanks to his past self for making snacks as he retrieved a container of onigiri and leant against the kitchen bench to eat. He watched the storm outside buffering the trees as wind kicked up again, sheets of silvery rain washing out the details and casting the world around him into something wild and dreamlike. There was an echo of it under his skin, like part of the storm had become trapped inside him out in the forest, howling fear and need through his bones and upturning things he thought he'd tied down securely years ago. He swallowed mouthfuls of rice around the spot where his heart had lodged itself in his throat, let his head turn over thoughts of </span>
  <em>
    <span>what if. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He still couldn't quite believe that he'd propositioned Neji the way he did, brazen, fuelled by confidence or maybe just need and instinct in the heat of the moment. That he'd asked that of someone he'd been growing close to, gambled their friendship. Maybe it made perfect sense that in a moment of high stress he'd reach out to someone he trusted, forgetting all the reasons why he'd been compartmentalising his feelings away…and </span>
  <em>
    <span>gods</span>
  </em>
  <span> yes, he had feelings, troublesome Hyūga, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine,</span>
  </em>
  <span> fucking self awareness was such a drag…forgetting all that long enough to just let his need drive him. Regardless, it was a gutsy move, impulsive. What if he'd ruined their friendship? Would Neji go home tonight and wake up tomorrow with a clear head, realising that nothing more could come of this, that they'd crossed a line they shouldn't have? Would they both feel that way? And what if that was for the best? Pursuing this could be a catastrophically bad idea. Fuck. He put the container down by the sink as his stomach turned tight and sour at the thought, licked a stray grain of rice from his palm and sealed the lid back in place wishing he had the energy to make tea. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Filling a glass with water, he retrieved a few painkillers from a draw and hoped it would be sufficient to dull the ache in his thigh and let him sleep. He should probably have gone to see a medic straight away but the thought had made him antsy, all he'd wanted was to be home. Retreat and regroup. Have a scalding shower and jerk off and freak out a bit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A lot. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ugh. Whatever. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He'd had worse injuries and waited longer for treatment, he'd be fine until tomorrow. Neji had done a good job cleaning it for him. And yeah, that was a whole fucking thing unto itself too, wasn't it? He'd been so damn gentle with Shikamaru's injuries, thorough and precise, but every touch soft. As though Shikamaru was something to take care of. Neji's hands had lingered, unselfconscious, and it had felt like he was taking his time now that he knew his touch was welcome. And Shikamaru had sensed that too, his own hands sure and steady on Neji's ankle when he'd wrapped it, an intimacy in his movements that hadn't been there before. If this had been a one night only thing, if it wasn't going to go any further, how was Shikamaru meant to forget all that? How was he ever going to look at Neji and not ache with the knowledge that he knew his touch, his taste, his hunger? How was he going to ignore this? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dug out the first aid kit from under the sink, a cotton pad and gauze enough to tide things over until tomorrow, the wound seeping fresh blood from all the attention but not enough to overly concern him. One of these days he should probably try to learn a little healing from Ino again, if she was still willing to teach him. He tidied away the first aid kit and packed the food back in the fridge, the chill air finally starting to bite through the last of the shower-warmth, and made his way down the hall to his bedroom. He tossed his damp towel on the floor and tried not to hear his mother's voice scolding at his laziness as he crawled into bed, tugging the blankets over him while he tried to find a position that didn't put pressure on his leg. Exhaustion pulled at him hard. He wondered if across Konoha Neji was sprawled under warm blankets, equally as tired and confused, thinking about him and wishing he had answers too. Shikamaru turned to gaze out into the forest, pulled a pillow down to his chest and wrapped himself around it, his eyes growing heavy as he watched the rain come down. He needed time to process, needed rest. Maybe tomorrow would bring clarity. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>///</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rain finally broke with the rising sun on Shikamaru's fourth day home, his body stirring from yet another night of shallow sleep with the first glowing rays piercing his bedroom, his brain kicking into gear before he could drag a blanket over his head and even attempt to will himself back to sleep. Such a drag. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He'd lost the last handful of days to reports and clinic visits complete with lectures about the urgency of proper medical treatment, and all to the background noise of his head in a cyclical state of chaos. His heart much the same. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes no yes no yes? No?</span>
  </em>
  <span> His kitchen groaned under the weight of too much food as he'd poured all his frustrations into stress-cooking, a more productive outlet than hitting things with his slowly healing body, which had felt like the alternative much of the time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He'd been avoiding Neji, real mature, but he was still turning through all the depths of his confusion and he had no idea what would happen if they crossed paths before he could get his shit together. He'd probably say something stupid, </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> something stupid, and he didn't know which was worse. The ache hadn't subsided at all, a sickly blend of desire and longing and fear leaving him a total trainwreck. He was pining. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pining! </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was ridiculous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He resigned himself to the inevitable and rolled out of bed, tugging on a pair of loose pants and making his way towards the kitchen. Coffee. And gods but he wanted a cigarette. Asuma would kick his ass for even thinking about smoking, speaking of doing stupid shit. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gods</span>
  </em>
  <span> what he'd give to hear some advice from him right now, to be able to ask how people ever did this, to hear the deep tones of Asuma's laughter as he teased him for getting himself so tied up in knots from overthinking everything yet again. His chest ached even as he smiled, longing piercing through the soft, grief-filled tangle of feeling and memory he kept tucked away there for the man who'd been more than just a sensei. The man who'd been the cornerstone holding him strong through every howling wind that had threatened to tear him asunder over the years. He thumbed at the leather tie around his wrist, wondered at the habit there that had passed to him with the bracelet. A prayer for clarity as powerful as the resonating of temple bells.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I think you'd've liked this, the way he's taking me apart, right down to my bones. I think you'd like that he's banishing my loneliness. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He spooned out a heavy-handed measure of coffee, let the process of preparing himself the darkest brew he could manage centre him before making his way out to the veranda, clutching the steaming mug to his chest as he settled down to watch the dawn light set the early-Autumn foliage of the Nara forest aflame. A gentle breeze swept through the trees, drawing goosebumps along his bare skin and shifting the lingering clouds, but even the first sign of clear skies in days did nothing to calm the storm still raging under his skin.</span>
</p>
<p><em><span>Neji</span></em> <em><span>Hyūga.</span></em><span> Even thinking his name felt like some kind of ritual to conjure a racing heart and sweaty palms. Every time he thought he'd come to terms with the impossibility of the situation he'd flash to a memory so vivid he could almost taste it, Neji pressed close, Shikamaru's name falling from his lips, a saturated warmth in those moonstone eyes he'd only caught brief glimpses of before. It felt ludicrous, searching for a </span><em><span>yes</span></em><span> in there somewhere, an answer to a question he hadn't asked yet. But even if Neji wanted him too, even if he felt the pull towards something more between them, how could it ever possibly work? There were reasons that Shikamaru didn't go in for that kind of trouble. He was a shinobi, his life was little more than barely organised mayhem with the ever-present threat of death around every corner. Neji's was the same. Tenfold when it came to complicated clan responsibilities, and fuck, the Hyūga weren't exactly a small obstacle. It didn't exactly bode well for playing happy couple. Which made it even more spectacularly insane that no matter how many times he gave himself rational reasons to veer away from the whole mess, all his brain wanted to answer him with was </span><em><span>fuck it, let's do it anyway</span></em><span>. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>So where the hell did that leave him? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pressed the mug to his lips and drank, rolled the warm porcelain against his cheek, drawing its heat into his skin. The forest was waking up around him, the chirruping of birds occasionally drowned out by the bellows of a stag, the herd moving unseen beyond the treeline. All he wanted was a little clarity, a path forward so that he could get out of this holding pattern he'd been in for days, was that too much to ask? Shikamaru wasn't used to his own brain being so damn indecisive, and it was driving him crazy. To press forward or retreat, two options, all he had to do was make a choice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe he really was over-complicating things. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He and Neji had been growing closer for months now. Professional respect laying the groundwork for a mutual trust that had become warm with something more personal. They sought each other out, enjoyed one another's company. They were friends, good friends, there was no doubt in his mind about that. And gods Neji was attractive, absurdly fucking gorgeous really, but anyone with eyes in their skull could see that so of course he'd allowed himself to look. And he would swear that from time to time he'd noticed Neji looking back, the same interest heating his gaze, a reciprocal spark of attraction. If he'd let himself think on that in the deep of night, his body responding to thoughts of lingering gazes and warm smiles that had been just for him, strong limbs and soft hair, moonstone eyes catching the light in a way that made them shimmer with depth and colour. Well. There was no point denying that there had been something more simmering away here for a while. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed, massaged at his injured thigh as he took a deep sip from his mug, letting the rich flavour settle on his tongue. Maybe it didn't really surprise him at all that he'd kissed Neji, begged him for more. That Neji met him there and echoed back all his hunger. Perhaps the two of them drawing together was inevitable, that all they really needed was a spark to light the pyre they'd unconsciously been building. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shikamaru suspected his mind had actually been made up for days now, that there was no going back, no way for him to dismiss this as some passing one-off thing. So if it was to be forward motion instead of strategic retreat he just had to work out </span>
  <em>
    <span>how exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was gonna manage it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gods </span>
  </em>
  <span>he felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>sick. </span>
  </em>
  <span>How did people </span>
  <em>
    <span>do this?</span>
  </em>
  <span> His brain failed him sometimes, that was for sure, but he was smart enough to be absolutely fucking petrified about making the next move. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>///</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The late afternoon sun was blissfully warm, beating down on Shikamaru's bare arms and upturned face where he lay back in the grassy clearing. The odd cloud drifted overhead, the light breeze that had kicked up in the early morning continuing to whisper through the forest, the rustle of fire-tipped leaves a pleasant accompaniment to his current state of almost meditative relaxation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He'd spent the morning training, letting his muscles grow warm and ache under just enough exertion to feel present in his body and chase some of the fear from his mind. The rest of the day he gave over to tending the herd and working his way through the forest checking for any damage from the long bout of stormy weather, his thoughts wandering gently as he breathed in the scent of petrichor and shrine incense that drifted on the breeze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A peace had blanketed him after the mornings contemplations, an understanding that came with accepting the inextricable involvement of his determined heart in all of this. He'd seek Neji out, somehow find the words to let him know that he felt the tendrils of something deeper taking root here, and see how he responded. Take things from there. Preferably not make a total ass out of himself in the process. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He'd been trying to move ten steps ahead, plot out all the possibilities, sink into his default strategy for handling life. But that wasn't going to work here, he had no way of knowing how things would go until he had all the information, until he knew Neji's mind. Besides, as safe and comfortable as his usual tactics made him something felt off applying them here, he didn't want to turn this into a game. Didn't want to turn he and Neji into playing pieces. And he didn't want to spend his life running from his heart, isolating himself in an attempt to ward off the risk of pain. It had been that realisation as he'd worked through a series of stretches that morning which had finally clicked something over in his brain, and he'd taken a deep breath, let a sense of calm wash over him. He was stronger than this. Braver. He'd talk to Neji, let the next step become clear from there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stretched out his body and folded his arms behind his head, let his eyes shutter as the sunshine soaked into him, his mind drifting to the sounds of the herd moving through the forest. The territorial grunting of a buck caught his attention and he rose up on an elbow, his focus drawn to the footfall approaching him from just beyond the treeline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji emerged from the trees at the far side of the clearing and made his way slowly across the field, graceful as ever despite still moving with a slight limp from his injured ankle. Shikamaru exhaled a deep breath at the sight of him, mahogany hair flowing loose and shining in the sunlight, hands tucked behind his back, long grey-blue robe billowing around him. He was elegant. Beautiful. And suddenly Shikamaru was </span>
  <em>
    <span>starving. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He forced himself to lay back down and stop staring, willed the sudden spike of arousal and nerves to settle and his heart to ease off before he started composing tanka in his head. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gods, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he really was in deep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'May I join you?' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That formal cadence felt soft around the edges, gentled by the flash of a smile curving his lips, and Shikamaru swallowed hard before gesturing at the ground by his side. He guessed they were doing this now then. At least he wouldn't have to psych himself up to seeking Neji out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Yeah, of course.' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji gathered his yukata in his hands as he sat, arranging it carefully before drawing his hair over one shoulder and laying down in the grass. Shikamaru smiled as he watched Neji out the corner of his eye, pale hands folding over his ribs, gaze taking in the near-cloudless sky as he relaxed his body by degrees. Shikamaru got the feeling he didn't do this much, lay in the grass to watch the clouds, impulsively fuck a friend and then try to navigate the emotional landscape afterwards, </span>
  <em>
    <span>gods, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he suppressed the urge to laugh at their whole situation. They needed some comfortable ground, somewhere familiar to catch their breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'How's your ankle feeling?' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt Neji relax a little more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Not too bad. Hinata healed the worst of the swelling and I've been put on recuperative leave for long enough that my body will do the rest. It's rather an indulgence to have the time for an injury to heal on its own. How are yours?' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shikamaru couldn't help but huff a laugh at that. The fucking lives they lived. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Thigh's a bit stiff still, that wound was pretty decent. I think my knee might actually take longer to sort out though. Medics were pissed that I didn't go straight in, think I'll be out of the field another week or so, which yeah, you're disturbingly right about that feeling like a luxury.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An easy quiet settled in, peaceful, just like it always seemed to between them. The nerves which had skittered through him began to dissipate as the moment stretched out until Shikamaru thought he could almost drift off to sleep before Neji spoke up again, tone hinting at uncertainty and barely above a whisper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'I can't seem to stop thinking about the other night. About you. About us.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shikamaru hummed in agreement, left space for Neji to continue, hoped that he would because his own words had totally abandoned him. He could see Neji's fingers twitching as he flicked his gaze over, could sense his anxiousness building, felt his own answering with butterfly wings in his stomach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'I feel like perhaps…'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another long pause, and Shikamaru realised he'd been holding his breath, his body tuning into the shift in mood. Neji exhaled hard, clearly fighting through his own mounting unease to continue speaking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Forgive me, I'm not terribly good at this kind of thing.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shikamaru's lips twitched, corners curling up into a smile, deeply grateful to not be taking the lead right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'It's okay, you're doing better than I would be. I've been wanting to come talk to you but was convinced I was gonna make a total mess of this conversation, so I'm pretty happy you're saving me from it to be honest.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji glanced over at him, their gazes catching briefly, the flicker of amusement bleeding a little of the anxious tension out of the moment and the spark of heat that followed feeding anticipation into the air between them. They both breathed for a beat, let each other settle, eyes slowly gravitating back skyward. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'It's just that I can't help but think there might be something more here. That perhaps we could be something more.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shikamaru's heart suddenly decided to make itself known, pounding wildly in his chest as countless possibilities stretched out in front of him, all of them a little golden. They were on the same page. He found his voice again as his lungs relaxed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Mmmm, I'd been wondering if you felt it too. A spark, yeah?' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If that wasn't an understatement he didn't know what was, but coming straight out with </span>
  <em>
    <span>I think I might've actually been falling in love with you for months now</span>
  </em>
  <span> seemed like a little much, and then Neji was rising up on an elbow and pinning him in place with an intensity in his gaze that said maybe he saw straight through Shikamaru's attempt at casual anyway. Fuck, talk about feeling stripped bare by a look alone, he wondered why Neji even bothered with the Byakugan when he saw so much without it. Neji nodded as he reached to trail fingertips along Shikamaru's jaw, thumb brushing his bottom lip, expression heating as Shikamaru let out a slow breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'What do you say, Shikamaru? Do you want to see where this could go?' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji's touch stayed gentle, fingers dipping to stroke along his neck, offering him the reins. Shikamaru took them gladly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Fuck, yeah. Yes.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he was surging up to capture Neji's mouth in a searing kiss, hand grasping at the back of his neck to anchor them together. The ache in his chest pressed hard against his ribs and Shikamaru almost wanted to sob with relief. Neji was here with him, looking for something deeper, and the thought of letting him in was terrifying but gods it was all Shikamaru wanted, fear be damned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji was sinking back into the grass and pulling Shikamaru with him, gasping as Shikamaru slipped a leg between his thighs and pressed their bodies close. The sound sent sparks of heat rippling through his veins, pooling fire in his belly, and Shikamaru longed to let his body take control and his heart find what it had been yearning for. Neji sucked his lip between his own and bit down gently, licked into his mouth as Shikamaru let hungry sounds spill over. He felt himself grow hard against Neji's hip, the suddenness of it leaving him lightheaded, Neji's answering press of lead against his thigh sending him reeling. The heat between them felt as explosive as it had days before, barely a match struck again and they were both burning up, drawing each other in with this overwhelming need. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji's wandering hands skated down his body, fingers dipping into the waistband of his pants before grasping the hem of his shirt and pulling. Shikamaru shifted to let Neji tug it over his head, and those hands were back on him before the shirt hit the ground. Warm fingers traced his ribs, his breastbone, brushed lightly over the peaks of his nipples, every touch unravelling hidden threads that had been holding all his lonely pieces together for far too long. Shikamaru moaned as he felt something deep in his chest split open, raw and needy, and leant back in to claim that hot mouth again as he let himself be coaxed into the space Neji had opened between his thighs. He lined up their hips and pressed more of his weight against Neji's body, the pressure and friction between them pulling their breath into stuttery gasps. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He braced himself by Neji's shoulder and let his other hand travel slowly down to Neji's knee, nudging his yukata aside to run greedy fingers over warm skin. His hand crept higher, massaging into the solid muscle of his thigh, drawing soft sounds from Neji's lips. Fingers ventured further under the folds of fabric, over Neji's hip, and Shikamaru moaned in surprise as he encountered no resistance, nothing but gloriously bare skin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'I can't believe you walked across Konoha like this.' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji hummed and laughed softly in response, rolled his hips against Shikamaru's, dragging their cocks together. Shikamaru groaned, matched his movements and trailed kisses over Neji's throat. They slowly rocked together, long minutes lost to hot breath and sweet friction, Shikamaru letting his teeth catch and drag over Neji's skin, soaking up every shivery sound he let slip. He kissed his way down his sculpted chest as far as the yukata would allow before rising up on his knees and reaching for the belt and ties holding it closed. He caught Neji's gaze and held it as he slowly unknotted the yukata, gave him time to stay his hands if he wanted to, Neji's smile as the last tie gave under Shikamaru's fingers enough to banish any hesitancy he'd had. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shikamaru felt like he was unwrapping a present with every inch of skin that his efforts revealed, gradually pushing fabric aside to leave Neji naked under the autumn sun. His gaze traced the expanse of pale skin, lines of hard muscle shifting beneath it, his perfect, flushed cock resting heavy and leaking against his stomach. Shikamaru drank in the sight as he basked in the quiet that embraced them, stroked his fingers over Neji's body, grazing pearlescent slivers of scar tissue and stretches of smooth ivory, every inch of him glorious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji watched him closely, shifting a little under his returning gaze, and Shikamaru wondered if he could burn this moment into his memory. Neji bare and laid out for him, the sun warming their bodies, hunger in their fingertips, the myriad of possible futures spinning out in front of them. It felt precious and vast, his heart stuttering, full to overflowing. He pressed a hand to Neji's chest and let himself feel the strong drum of his heartbeat, marvelled at this sentimental streak which had flared to life in him, these feelings Neji was breathing life into, tender and powerful and burning in vibrant concert with the desire thick in his blood. He'd never indulged any kind of emotional vulnerability before, pushed it back down anytime it threatened to surface, felt a weakness in it that scared him, but here he was wildly intoxicated on it's heady unfamiliarity with no desire to curb it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Gods, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Neji, what are you doing to me?' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words tumbled free on a splintered breath, and Neji was reaching for him, drawing him back down into a kiss. He brushed his mouth along Shikamaru's jaw, took his earlobe between his teeth and tugged at the silver stud, whispered hot against the shell of his ear as he twined their fingers over his heart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Hmmm…the same thing you're doing to me, I suspect.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hand stayed wrapped around Shikamaru's for a moment longer before disappearing into the folds of his yukata, retrieving a vial of oil from a hidden pocket and pressing it into Shikamaru's palm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'I want you, Shikamaru. I need to feel you closer.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A bone-deep shiver wracked Shikamaru's body at hearing Neji feed his own words back to him from the other night, echoed by a moan that pulsed an aching throb between his legs. He crushed their mouths together, letting his hunger provide his answer as he reached to clumsily unbutton his pants. He shoved the fabric over his hips and let it bunch around his thighs as he settled back tight against Neji's body, both of them moaning at the friction of bare skin, instinctively rocking together again, chasing more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji wrapped his arms around Shikamaru's ribs, held him close, fingers travelling down his spine and reaching to squeeze handfuls of his ass, grinding him down against the cradle of his hips. Shikamaru could get lost in this, hot and flying so high already, hard enough to cut glass, sweat beading at the dip of his spine. He took a deep breath and tried to settle the burning need in his veins, fought against the temptation to just push them harder and spill all over Neji's stomach. He trembled as he eased off their rhythm, shifted his focus to licking his way into Neji's mouth and kissing him deeply, felt an answering shiver run through every inch of the muscled body spread out beneath him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With agonising willpower he dragged himself away from that hot mouth, shifted back up onto his knees and grasped the bottle, opening it hastily and coating his fingers in slick. He groaned as he watched Neji's thigh fall open wide in invitation, arousal licking fire through his senses. He let his knuckles brush over that soft expanse of skin before settling two fingers against Neji's entrance and rubbing gently, his other hand wrapping loosely around the rock-hard length of his cock, fingers tracing maplines from root to tip. Neji's head fell back, his eyes shuttering as he pressed up into Shikamaru's grip. The contented hum that fell from those lips as one finger sunk deep inside him sent a fresh wave of heat burning through Shikamaru's blood. He'd never wanted someone this badly before, desire heavy in his limbs and aching behind his ribs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Neji rocked down against his hand he pressed another finger in alongside the first, earning him a shaking groan and a heavy roll of Neji's hips. Grasping hands came up to pull Shikamaru into a hungry kiss, tumbling him forward and forcing him to release Neji's cock, bracing himself by his shoulder to keep his balance. The kiss grew messier with every twist of his fingers, Neji's body begging with every shuddering roll of his hips. He teased a third finger at Neji's rim, the barest breach, letting Neji set the pace and take more as he was ready. Shikamaru broke the kiss, lips brushing the corner of Neji's mouth as his breath shook out of him, arousal threaded through with flickers of discomfort as he took the third finger just a little too fast. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gods Shikamaru</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you're so eager. Don't worry, I am too. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The memory teased hazy, hot tendrils through his mind as Neji rocked down against his fingers, the need mutual, so fucking mutual, and gods, Shikamaru could feel himself shaking, could feel the shape of his reality transforming. He kissed his way along Neji's jaw, brushed their temples together before letting his brow rest against the warm steel of Neji's hitai-ate, fingers gradually stroking deeper. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They found a rhythm there, bodies held close, breath coming hard, Shikamaru's fingers working Neji open. He ghosted his mouth across his neck and licked at a droplet of sweat coursing down his throat, let his lips and tongue trail a path over sharp collarbones and down to drag along the carved muscle of his chest, taking a hard nipple between his teeth and biting gently. Neji moaned, his hands burying in Shikamaru's hair as his body arched under the attention. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shikamaru surged back to capture his mouth in a distracting kiss as he eased his fingers from his body, rising back to his knees as he sought out the oil again with shaky hands. He spilled a generous pour into the cup of his hand and propped the vial into the grass beside them as he dragged in a harsh breath. He met Neji's gaze as he wrapped his slick hand around himself, stroking, moaning deep and ragged as opal eyes raked over him, expression hot and hungry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Shikamaru,</span>
  </em>
  <span> gods…'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji's voice was wrecked, velvet wine flowing over gravel, and fuck, but Shikamaru's name had never sounded so good to his own ears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'...please.'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The word ended on a stutter as Neji grasped his own cock and stroked once, twice, slow and steady, eye contact holding strong. Shikamaru's pulse was hammering in his ears, the urge to bury himself deep in Neji's body and claim him at war with his aching desire to take his time and let them savour this. He squeezed hard at the base of his cock, willed himself to slow down, </span>
  <em>
    <span>slow down, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and leant forward to line himself up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji exhaled a long breath as Shikamaru gradually sank into him, his hands guiding their mouths back together, both of them moaning against each other's lips as their bodies drew flush. Shikamaru rocked them gently, shallow rolls of his hips that kept him deep, reaching to tug Neji's thigh up around his hip. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Oh fuck, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Neji, </span>
  </em>
  <span>you feel incredible. Just want to stay right here, </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh gods…' </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His words stumbled, fragmented into groaning need as Neji gripped him in a sweet vice of molten heat, whole body strung taut and shivery, his panting breath the only thing reminding Shikamaru's own lungs to draw air. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'...wanna make you fall apart.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And gods, but Shikamaru wanted to fall with him. Wanted to let go of every fear he had and just lay himself open, vulnerable, trusting Neji with it all. It felt like some part of himself that had been locked away, cold and quiet and brittle, was suddenly burning hot with a riot of feeling, heady and terrifying and so </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>good, and Shikamaru ached to drown in it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji arched beneath him, lithe body bowing in a sinuous curve, hands clutching fiercely, every drag over sun-warmed skin sending Shikamaru higher. He reached to tangle his fingers in the silky fall of Neji's hair, tugging his head back to bare the pale column of his throat and bit gently, licking at the soft indent of teeth before feeling Neji press up to meet him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Harder, Shikamaru. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mark me.'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Heat flared at the desperate tone, recklessness feeding into their desire and Shikamaru groaned, sinking his teeth in and sucking hard, pulling the warmth of blood close to the surface in a purple bruise. Neji's moan broke into shattered pieces, a steady stream of hunger, eyes flickering and rolling back as he lost himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'...want you everywhere.'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shikamaru's breath caught on a growl at the hushed confession, and he let his teeth scrape over the shadowy mark as something possessive spiked in his belly. He chased the drag of teeth with the stroke of his tongue, flushing at the knowledge there'd be no hiding the brand of his mouth. Neji shook, fractured tremors running through his body setting off an avalanche in Shikamaru's, their breath hot between them as they sought each other's mouths again, open and starving and messy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sheen of sweat flushed along Shikamaru's body, hotcold as the whisper of breeze licked across his skin. The air around them felt thick, heavy, the heat of the day radiating up from below them and the last of the afternoon sun dripping over them like syrup. The sensations blanketed around them, close and warm, time slowing as they drowned in one another. Shikamaru's chest ached, his thoughts bright with the clarity he'd sought for days, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yesyesyes</span>
  </em>
  <span> a mantra in his head, overcome as he opened up to something he didn't realise he needed so badly. To </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As long legs wrapped high around his waist he slipped a hand around to squeeze at the perfect swell of Neji's ass, changing the angle of his next thrust to graze over hidden nerves, drawing a choked-off sob from wet lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Fuck, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I want to hear you. Let me </span>
  <em>
    <span>hear</span>
  </em>
  <span> you.' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He kept the angle held tight, grazed that buried spot deep in Neji's body with every stroke and was rewarded with that silken voice crying out again and again, caressing his name, moaning for him. Every whispered word, every shaking breath, every show of trust spearing deep into his core, rattling him loose in a way he'd never imagined another person could. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shikamaru felt his restraint slipping, his own lips parting around ruined sounds, his rhythm turning ragged as he drove into Neji harder, faster, pushing them closer to the edge. He slid a hand between their slick stomachs and grasped Neji's leaking cock in a firm grip, stroking in time with the rough movements of his hips. Neji clutched at him, fingers digging into his shoulders, clawing down over his biceps before releasing one hand to brace himself on the ground, driving up to take his mouth in a wild kiss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'With me,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Shikamaru.' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Breath coming hard, his muscles burning, fire lapped up Shikamaru's spine pulling him under. He was breaking apart at the seams, wanted to take Neji with him, wreck them both. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'...Neji, </span>
  <em>
    <span>gods</span>
  </em>
  <span>…'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They clung to each other, bodies locked tight, lips catching as they drank down ragged breaths. Shikamaru held that knife's edge, that blistering moment before release, and as Neji cried out his orgasm, head thrown back as he painted their bellies Shikamaru let himself crash over the peak, sweet agony tearing through him in a blinding wave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took long moments for Shikamaru's mind to settle back down in his body, his heart to find a steadier pace and his limbs to loosen their hold enough to slip free from Neji's body and shift over to his side, pants tugged roughly back over his hips. He retrieved his t-shirt and sacrificed it in the name of cleaning them up a little before he lay back down to pillow his cheek on Neji's bicep where he'd let his arm fall wide, draped his leg over Neji's to keep them close, the quiet wrapping back around them as their thundering hearts finally calmed. His fingers traced over Neji's chest, drawing patterns into sweat-damp skin as he felt his brain sort through all the input, readjusting to accommodate </span>
  <em>
    <span>Them. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Because gods, just like that there was a Them now.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neji's arm curved up to rest his hand against Shikamaru's nape, fingers stroking at fine hair. He pressed into the touch, felt contentment settle into his belly as he glanced up to catch Neji's gaze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Come home with me. Stay. Spend the night with me.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Just stay with me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It lingered unspoken on his tongue, a headier depth to his request that startled him with its rawness. Neji was watching him and he couldn't help but wonder again just how much he was seeing. There was no way Shikamaru could hide what he was feeling, and more than that, he didn't think he wanted to. Maybe it was too much too soon, but if Neji wanted him then Shikamaru felt compelled to offer up everything he was. Neji brought his other hand up to tangle their fingers over his chest, held Shikamaru's gaze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Mmmm...I'd like that.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They watched one another a little longer, hands wandering just to touch, grounding them as the slowly dipping sun lit up the sky in amber hued flames that licked colour across their skin. Shikamaru didn't think he'd ever seen Neji look so open, walls down, allowing him close in a way he knew people rarely got to be. Perhaps he was even the first to truly be allowed to glimpse so much, and what a powerful thought that was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shikamaru slowly disentangled them as the sun sunk into the horizon, rocked up onto his knees, running his hand down Neji's side as he went. He dragged himself to his feet as he tucked himself away and did his pants back up, stretching out his back and cracking a shoulder loose. Neji rose to stand in one graceful movement and belted the yukata closed, flicking his long mane over his shoulder. How on earth he managed to look so dignified with mussed hair and robes covered in grass stains was an utter mystery to Shikamaru, a huff of laughter slipping free as he contemplated his own state. Neji glanced over at him, a tilt of his head asking the question. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Hn, you look good, that's all. Makes me wonder what it'd take to mess you up.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moved close and ran fingers over Neji's smirking lips, down his neck, his thumb dragging over the prominent bruise on that pale throat earning him a gasp. Neji hauled him in for a kiss, stoking the embers swirling through Shikamaru's blood, before releasing him just as suddenly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Take me home.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their gaze stayed locked, heat simmering between them, a burn that Shikamaru suspected would be impossible to extinguish now that it had taken hold. He took a slow breath, willed himself to start walking, leading them towards his cabin though the twilight-dark forest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shadows grew deeper as they navigated their way in easy silence, Neji as lost to his thoughts as Shikamaru was, the night waking up around them, evening stars pinpricking the sky as they gradually left the treeline behind and climbed the stairs of his home. He'd never brought anyone back here like this, never wanted to let anyone so close to his vulnerable places, but right now he couldn't imagine being anywhere else with Neji. He wanted him here, wrapped up in his home, knew now that it was as inevitable as every other part of this even through the threads of fear that still coiled in the back of his mind. He opened the door and stood aside to let Neji cross the threshold, didn't hold back when he felt a smile pull at his lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Them. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gods, but that sounded good. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Voluminous thanks to my beloved cheerleader Ms T. Love you.<br/>---<br/>As always, author owns nothing but her mistakes and a shameless need to see idiots fall in love. <br/>---<br/>Find me at littleaccomplice.tumblr.com where I’m reblogging stuff and tagging things badly. &lt;3 is always appreciated if you enjoyed my rambling words!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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